By Jodie Nevid
I’ve been doing some research recently on stages of
change so I can continually improve how I work with people to create
change in their life that is a) for the better and b) sticky! I believe
that anyone can make whatever changes they needed to improve their life.
It's never too late to ditch bad habits, remove deep seeded fears,
eliminate anxiety and dramatically increasing confidence. The only catch
is to get that kind of change you have to want it, and you have to be
prepared to allow it to happen without sabotaging your own success.
I’ve recently been exploring the Dilts’ Neurological
Levels Pyramid. (See the image) It’s a pretty cool model to be aware of
because when understood it’s a fantastic guide to help pinpoint where
you should focus your energy to create any kind of change you want.
I’ll explain the pyramid by starting from the bottom
because that’s the way many of us pursue change… it is the longest, most
painful and the most commonly traveled path to change.
1. ENVIROMENT – This is the first place we often try
for change if we are unhappy about life. Get a new job, new home, new
car or even new crowd to hang out with – but we take ourselves with us
so sometimes we remain just as unhappy in our new environment… so we
step up the pyramid and try something else…
2. BEHAVIOUR - If our environmental change didn’t hit
the spot we might adopt some new behaviors to bring on change. We might
get up early, eat less, stop smoking, exercise more, or what ever else
we could try that is different to what we currently are. It can work in
the short term but it rarely sticks because it feels like massive
effort!
3. SKILLS - Frustration with our failed attempts to
create new habits can then lead us to want to get more committed, which
is a good thing. So we commit to developing some new skills. We take a
course, get some qualifications, learn, grow and develop. This can open
up new opportunities and increase our confidence, however it is often
only at a surface level. As we know new skills don’t always stick
either!
4. BELIEFS - Even with our new skills limiting beliefs
like; this is just how it is, I could never do that, or that could
never happen, can continue to haunt us. This is about where I show up.
The scenario: the training box is ticked but nothing has changed! Why?
Because no one really believes deep down that change is possible. I used
to work with clients to try and change their beliefs… OMG it was
challenging… and sometimes it worked… but mostly people STILL return to
their old ways. I’ve learned that yes beliefs matter but this is not the
first place to go because it can be exhausting for everyone.
5. VALUES – By moving beyond beliefs to find
congruency between a persons values and their desired outcome change is
easier. I also like to focus on individual character strengths because
this gives the person a base of confidence to build on… however this is
still not the first point of call.
6. IDENTITY - This is the place I have learnt (Yes
learnt the hard way!) to begin by simply asking; what do you believe to
be true about yourself? Giving an honest answer can be challenging for
some people and very revealing for all concerned. If deep lasting change
is the goal then we must first look inward at our very core. Sometimes
change can only come when we change our thoughts about who we “think” we
are.
7. SPIRITUALITY - In some versions of Dilts’ model
I’ve seen the peak listed as purpose, perhaps spirituality is a little
bit “woo woo” for some? Personally I like the notion of spirituality but
it is not for everyone and I get that. In essence at this level it is
about being connected to something greater than self. When you can find
that type of connection to purpose it can be a very powerful force for
change.
Experience has taught me that change is achieved at a
quicker rate with less overall effort and pain when we start at the top.
Who you think you are and your connection to a sense of purpose can
have a massive impact on your life. Next time you want to change
something take the short cut - Sometimes the last place we go is the
first place to try!
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